“Believe in yourself.” “Love yourself.” “Trust yourself.” These messages abound. The very modern and progressive remedy for mortal misery is to build faith in the self. Many of us have tried this formula in our own lives. We have taught it to our children. And by doing so we miss teaching them about the only Power in the universe that can transform us. There is a God and I am not He.
The modern prescription flies in the face of God’s consistent counsel throughout scripture. Nephi’s inspired observation is typical: “O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm” (2 Nephi 4:34). Nephi was very clear that his only hope was trusting in God. “Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.”
The celebration of ourselves and our powers can keep us from recognizing our utter dependence on God. It can keep us from showing our children how to find the power that can save them.
Perhaps the single most important thing we can do as parents is to teach our children to love, trust, and call on God. We cannot rescue our children from the fall, but we can point them to the power that can. How can we do that?
1. We can have a loving and vital relationship with God. I love how Rebecca Harding Davis has said it:
“For, after all, put it as we may to ourselves, we are all of us from birth to death guests at a table which we did not spread. The sun, the earth, love, friends, our very breath are parts of the banquet…. Shall we think of the day as a chance to come nearer to our Host, and to find out something of Him who has fed us so long?”
When our lives are overflowing with gratitude for the God who loves us, guides us, and redeems us, we are building our family foundation on the Rock. We can regularly model that gratitude for our children.
2. We can teach our children to embrace repentance as the path to becoming better people. We will make lots of mistakes as parents and as people. We can show our children that we are thankful for the opportunity to repent and turn to God for forgiveness and help in becoming better.
We can patiently teach our children to repent. And then we show them what mercy and compassion look like by the way we respond to their mistakes.
“All of God’s faculties, all of his inclinations are poised and bent on blessing at the slightest provocation. Oh, how God loves to be merciful and bless his children! Perhaps that is his greatest joy. It is the inherent quality that drives him with tireless vigilance to save his children” (p. 313, Tad R. Callister, Infinite Atonement, 2000, Deseret Book).
We can show the kind of love and goodness to family members that God shows to us. We will do it imperfectly, yet our children will recognize our growing discipleship.
3. We can live our faith in Christ. We will, at times, be unsettled by doubts, bothered by imperfections, or wearied by burdens. This is when our examples can be most valuable to our children. As Fosdick asks:
“Are we to trust for our guidance the testimony of our worse or better hours? . . We have cellars in our houses. But we do not live there; we live upstairs!” (p. 203).
In times of challenge, our lives can be governed by our discontents or they can be guided by the Light and Life of the world. When we feel pressed down, do our children witness us looking up with faith? Even when we are struggling, do our children see us noticing and acknowledging God’s blessings? When our children are struggling, do we invite them to look for His goodness and mercy?
“And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins” (2 Nephi 25:26).
We can help our children know that they can never save themselves. We can help them learn to throw themselves on the merits, mercy, and grace of Him who is mighty to save. Our personal examples of humility, repentance, faith, and rejoicing will teach our children the most important lessons of life.
“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin” (1 John 1:7).
Invitation: As you read this article, what do you feel inspired to do to help your children love and trust God?
Recommendation: My life continues to be blessed by Stephen Robinson’s Believing Christ. I recommend it heartily.
Thanks to Barbara Keil and Emily McIntosh for their insightful suggestions for this article.