“I don’t feel like I’m doing anything important. And I don’t feel connected to the ward members. In fact, I feel inferior to them. I feel pretty worthless.”
The good woman who shared these feelings with me is not alone. Joseph Smith confessed:
“I have visited a grove which is Just back of the town almost every day where I can be Secluded from the eyes of any mortal and there give vent to all the feelings of my heart in meaditation and prayr. I have called to mind all the past moments of my life and am left to morn and Shed tears of sorrow for my folly in sufering the adversary of my soul to have so much power over me as he has had in times past, but God is merciful and has forgiven my Sins and I rejoice that he Sendeth forth the Comferter unto as many as believe and humbleth themselves before him” (Joseph Smith to Emma Smith, 6 June 1832, Church Archives).
Squeaky clean Nephi also felt inadequate:
“O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities. I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins” (2 Nephi 4:17-19).
I join Nephi, Joseph Smith, and all others who grieve over their follies and failings. Several times a day a thought of a foolish moment or a stupid mistake drops on my soul, making me squirm.
“When I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins.” Often our sins and weaknesses are all mingled in a puddle of humiliation. In this world, sensitive people are likely to feel stupid and inferior.
Do you have faults that discourage you? Do you ever feel like giving up on yourself? Do you feel clueless and weak?
One of Satan’s greatest deceptions is to convince us that discouraging thoughts are from God. “He is disappointed in you.”
This truth is essential: God does not speak to His children that way. He does not chide, scold, and harass. “That which doth not edify is NOT of God” (D&C 50:23, emphasis added). He does send specific instructions, but He does not torment us.
Dark messages come from Satan. He is the father of lies and the master of misery.
How do we explain our self-disappointment? “Because of the fall, our natures have become evil continually” (Ether 3:2). When we recognize that our eternal spirits are regularly burdened by our earthly realities, we are ready for the companion truth: There is only One remedy for the Fall: Jesus.
Nephi set the example for all of us who are discouraged. After expressing his despair in his spiritual failures, he pivoted away from himself and toward God: “Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted. My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep. He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh” (2 Nephi 4:19-21).
Melancholy is transformed in a minute if we turn from our fallenness to His redemptiveness. Alma provides a powerful example of the principle:
“There could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. . . . On the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy (Alma 36:21).
Alma’s transformation came when he cried out, “O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me” (Alma 36:18). That is not theoretical religion; that is applied faith.
When I feel assaulted by my recollection of mistakes and failings, rather than brood, I call out with Alma, “O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me.” I throw myself on the merits, mercy, and grace of Him who is mighty to save. I pray that He will forgive me of my sins and heal those I have injured. Instead of dwelling on my inadequacies, I ask that Him to use my gifts. Rather than feel defeated by my weaknesses, I pray He change my nature and make me more like Him. That is what He loves to do. And the key to accessing His power is calling on Him with full purpose of heart.
When we understand this principle, we rejoice with Paul:
“And [the Lord] said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
When God graciously reveals my inadequacy to me, He is inviting me to call on heavenly power. For that reason, every awareness of my imperfection is a blessing.
I am not recommending tired resignation. Quite the contrary. I recommend that we humbly acknowledge our weakness and throw ourselves on the merits, mercy, and grace of the only one who can fix us. It is surprisingly liberating. We stop expecting ourselves to do the impossible—to make ourselves virtuous. And we turn to the one who loves to heal broken things. What are the steps in the process?
1. We transform nagging feelings of spiritual inadequacy into active faith: “O Jesus, thou son of God, have mercy on me.”
2. We cheerfully do those things we are able to do (See D&C 123:17). We repent. We make amends. We try to act on Divine invitations to change for the better.
3. We show our trust in Him by pushing away Satan’s attempts to discourage us. We choose peace.
This process works because we understand His process. We know that Only He can make us holy.
Invitation: The next time you feel burdened by weakness or assaulted by failings, try Alma’s words, “O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me.” Cast Satan out of your mind and heart and invite Jesus in.
Recommendation: I recommend Believing Christ by Stephen Robinson.
Thanks to Barbara Keil for her editing of this article.