When children behave badly, we often see defiance, carelessness, or selfishness. Compassion invites us to look deeper. Their difficult behavior may be the outward sign of confusion, fear, discouragement, fatigue, or pain. Compassion does not ignore a … Read more
We often judge children’s behavior by its effect on us rather than by the intention in their hearts. If their actions—or inactions—irritate us, we may assume they are malicious, careless, or irresponsible.
Blaming children for every irritation … Read more
Every parent knows the moment: irritation rises, words gather force, and we stand at the edge of saying something we may regret. In this series, I have offered religious and research reasons to resist anger. I have … Read more
The Soft-Spoken Parent
The Process of Change and Strategy 1
As you study this series on soft-spoken parenting and the fifty-five strategies for preventing contention with your children, remember that some things we do will help us … Read more
One area of parenting is especially relevant to soft-spoken parenting: responding to children’s strong emotions. Haim Ginott and John Gottman were experts at showing parents how to help their children transform their strong emotions into growth and … Read more
Anger often feels irresistible. A child breaks a glass or hits a sibling, and we erupt. Can that automatic reaction be interrupted? Can volcanic anger be replaced by calm helpfulness? In the moment, changing course can seem … Read more
Soft-Spoken Parenting
Our culture often models anger as if it were righteous indignation. But the Lord and His servants consistently condemn anger. It is the enemy of righteousness, holiness, godliness. Consider carefully a few words of counsel … Read more
Soft-Spoken Parenting
The counsel of Church leaders has consistently encouraged us to avoid anger. Consider their words.
Joseph Smith
All the religious world is boasting of righteousness: It is the doctrine of the devil to retard the … Read more
Soft-Spoken Parenting #2:
While the field of psychology has recently taken a strong stand against anger, God has always been against it. The Savior taught, “Whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in … Read more
We all get angry. Sometimes our anger is nothing more than simmering irritation. We chafe. Other times it is fire in our soul. Our ears burn and every cell tenses. Yet even as we ready for the … Read more