When we’re angry with our children, we may feel an urgent need to do something—to correct, lecture, threaten, or punish. Unfortunately, the angrier we become, the less likely we are to do something helpful.
Sometimes the … Read more
Since the natural man is an enemy to God—and to His children—it should not surprise us that our natural inner voice can be uncivilized and unhelpful. When our children misbehave, our first response is often an accusation: … Read more
Children learn the meaning of our words by connecting them to our actions. When our words and actions don’t match, children learn to believe our actions and discount our words.
Imagine that you’re getting the family ready … Read more
The Soft-Spoken Parent
Most of us are like writers of fiction. We take our life experiences and weave them into stories. But our stories are never entirely objective. We write to make a point. We color every … Read more
When we are inclined to justify our anger at our children, we may point to the scriptural directive: “Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:43).
There it is: sharpness!… Read more
We often judge children’s behavior by its effect on us rather than by the intention in their hearts. If their actions—or inactions—irritate us, we may assume they are malicious, careless, or irresponsible.
Blaming children for every irritation … Read more
The Soft-Spoken Parent
The Process of Change and Strategy 1
As you study this series on soft-spoken parenting and the fifty-five strategies for preventing contention with your children, remember that some things we do will help us … Read more
One area of parenting is especially relevant to soft-spoken parenting: responding to children’s strong emotions. Haim Ginott and John Gottman were experts at showing parents how to help their children transform their strong emotions into growth and … Read more
Anger often feels irresistible. A child breaks a glass or hits a sibling, and we erupt. Can that automatic reaction be interrupted? Can volcanic anger be replaced by calm helpfulness? In the moment, changing course can seem … Read more
Soft-Spoken Parenting
Our culture often models anger as if it were righteous indignation. But the Lord and His servants consistently condemn anger. It is the enemy of righteousness, holiness, godliness. Consider carefully a few words of counsel … Read more