Free Teleseminar on Thursday, March 26th, 7 pm (MST)

family-college-photos.jpgWhat does the Atonement have to do with marriage?How can it play a more central role in yours? Join Wally and Andy Goddard as they lead a discussion on Christ-Centered Marriage. We will be discussing:

  • Humility – the fertile soil for marital happiness, &
  • Faith in Jesus Christ – the cornerstone of our celestial union.

 On this conference call, you will also learn how you can get $100 in FREE PRODUCTS by Wally (DVDs, books, CDs, etc). Don’t miss this call! Conference Call Number: 218-936-7999Access Code: 760174

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  • Reply Sandee Spencer March 27, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    Sure wish I’d seen this before tonight (it took place last night). Would love to know if you do something like this again!!


  • Reply kristen April 4, 2009 at 9:30 pm

    Darn, I missed this! I hope you do this again!

  • Reply Loni November 5, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    Just read your article about marriages going bad !

    Well, I do agree that too many people leave a marriage without much reason but I’d like to tell you and anyone else who is out there !
    I could not do anything but get a divorce. My husband abused me physically, mentally, spiritually, and just about any other way he could think of. He wouldn’t let me contact my parents, my siblings or my friends, he wanted to control my turning on and off lights, I couldn’t turn up or down the thermostat, I couldn’t open or close a window. The temperatures in the house sometimes were 50 degrees and when I said we (the kids and I) were cold he told me to: “PUT A COAT ON” ! He told me how much soap to put in the dish water, how much food to can (preserve, and it was in the 100’ds of 2 qts and 1 qt jars = without any help) how much I could give the kids, he didn’t go to church regularly, or pay tithing regularly, or go home teaching, or ever lift a finger to help at home: “If you want something, go to work and buy it !” That’s a quote !
    I’ll leave another quote from him to you: “Abraham Lincoln had dirt for his floor, why are you upset that you only have particle board ?” “Now, that’s a particularly reasonable one, right ?” RIGHT ! (Some might think he came from the cave men age, I thought that sometimes.)

    When we were dating he wouldn’t buy gas on Sunday because that would be a sin ! (What a pretence, what a liar, and “YES” I was fooled, big time, I never knew there were people like him out there, but there are!) He was just the nicest guy to everyone in town, he’d give them money or help them or bring them to the house for me to figure out how to feed and take care of the bums (literally off the street)!

    I raised four girls, two served missions, all married in the temple and he never paid one thin dime of any expense for them. They graduated from College, and other (minor) schools and he never paid one dime. They wanted a ‘new dress’ when they graduated from High School and his answer to them was the same one he gave me: “Get a job and pay for it, and they did !” That is how they got their new High School Graduation Dress. He never gave them gifts for birthdays, christmases, and etc., nor me !

    I bought washers, dryers, dishwashers, flooring, (linoleum and carpet) dishes, sinks, tubs, encyclopedias, and yes, my own car; “. . .You don’t have to buy a car, because you don’t need a car !” . . . that’s another quote from the MASTER. All the while he bought motorcycles, bows and arrows, ski equipment, exercise equipment, trucks, backhoes, tractors and tractor equipment and a whole list of things I can’t even remember now. (Nor do I want to.)

    I worked most of the years we were married because IF I didn’t – – I never received a dime ! I hate his guts and don’t tell me to forgive him !

    I’m just so grateful for parents who taught me to work, I knew I was a good person LONG BEFORE I EVER MET THAT MAN, and that was the ONLY thing he couldn’t take from me ! I told him once, you’ve taken everything from me, but I will NOT LET YOU HAVE MY MIND !!! AND GUESS WHAT, I STILL HAVE A MIND LEFT ! I’ve taught Sunday School classes and Relief Society and YW and Primary and on and on it goes. Was the Sports director, Stake Sports Specialist and etc. I taught Gospel Doctrine for nine years after the big divorce. Thank Goodness for ‘some’ Bishops who have faith in those who have had a divorce. (Because ‘some’ don’t – – if you get a divorce you can just sit in the congregation and do nothing for the rest of your freakin’ life. And you had better be happy !) I owe my Bishop a world of THANKS ! I will forever be thankful to him and for him and his faith and confidence in me to call me to such a position after my divorce ! (And P.S. I was a good Gospel Doctrine Teacher !!) You might think I am bragging, because I say that; but I am just telling others feelings and what they have said about my teaching !

    THE EX broke bones in my body, broken ribs, broken legs, my shoulder and arm was so swollen from his pounding that it was black and blue from my neck to my fingertips, for months – – and last but not least: a severly broken heart. He worked at 13 different jobs in 17 years. Then he told me: “OK, now I’ve worked for 17 years, now it’s your turn and he quit.” He has never worked at a job, since that day ! I do wonder what he thought I was doing in that 17 years while he was working, I WAS WORKING ALSO, at home and away from home ! I was married (YOU may call it a MARRIAGE if you want to, I DO NOT CALL IT THAT !) for 25 years to the biggest jerk that I know. (His brothers are all the same and they are also ‘all’ divorced, some of them many times !) ALL OF THEM (THIS FAMILY, his siblings) WERE BORN IN THE COVENANT.) HIS FATHER WAS THE MEANEST MAN ON THIS PLANET. YES, A BISHOP !

    I am married now to the kindest man and don’t tell me that I should have tried harder on that marriage to my girls father ! I tried everything and anything. Some of the things I tried; you and people like you will never know OR NEVER EVEN HAVE TO THINK OF because you have never had to put up with the kind of crap and nonsense that I put up with for far too long ! (When I realized: … that IF I didn’t soon divorce him I would KILL HIM, I filed for divorce !) The only reason I put up with it for that long was because ‘people’ said: “Oh, you were married in the temple, you shouldn’t get a divorce !” YOU people do not know what it was like, it was a living HELL ! And if I go to HELL because I got a divorce, I know for a fact that it will not be nearly as bad as my life was from age 20 to 45 ! I should have left him for good when our first child was born, but no – – I got talked into going back !

    The good news is: I have a wonderful life now, I have wonderful, faithful children and grandchildren. AND IF I CAN’T BE WITH THE MAN WHO HAS TREATED ME LIKE A HUMAN BEING, THE ONE I AM SEALED TO, THEN SO BE IT ! I GUESS I JUST WON’T BE THERE ! THE EX’s LIFE is still a mess. (From beginning to end.)

    I feel like Job explained in the Bible: “Everything has been given back to me ten-fold.” Now, I know I’m not the person that Job was, but that is how I feel….. I know that I’m in no way even close to Job in his great devotion to God, but I have always served in the Church and that was another thing that my ex tried to stop ! (HE Could never do it, but he certainly tried to stop me from my church callings, guess I would say he should have an A+ for trying.)

    I owe my dear husband of 13 years EVERYTHING ! He has been my Angel on EARTH ! I do not know all the answers about divorce even now, but I know with no question whatsoever, that sometimes there NEEDS to be a divorce !

    I truly have forgotten a lot of the life I used to live. I don’t like to remember it !

    Now I can phone and see my sisters and brother anytime I want. I can clean the way I want, I can go and come when I want, I can serve in the Church – – and on and on, I’m sure you get the idea.

    I am 65 now and in poor health, but I will never quit ‘THANKING’ my Heavenly Father for giving me the courage to get out ! I will forever be grateful that I got out when I did, because now I would not be able to. I am so grateful that I finally got out – – that sounds like a repeat, and it was meant to be one ! I would never tell anyone who is suffering to ‘not’ get a divorce ! NOT with what I have put up with – – and all those years – -FOR WHAT ? “I’ll tell you for what: A GREAT, BIG, FAT ‘NOTHING’ ! ! ! I got nothing out of that marriage – -except to be destitute ! (OF course I got my children, and maybe someday I will understand what a blessing that has been; EVEN more so than I know, but raising them alone was not easy – – it was HARD !) I even had to pay the hospital bill for our first baby ! I wasn’t even working at the time. (But I had to go to work to get the money to pay it.) AFTER ALL – – you know the drill by now, I had her !

    I worked sometimes at three part-time jobs to be able to provide things – -young girls GET A COLLEGE DEGREE, I DIDN’T AND I WISHED OVER AND OVER AGAIN THAT I HAD STAYED IN COLLEGE – -I WORKED FOR ‘THINGS’ – – (only those who have tons of things, say: “THINGS” are not important !) for my children and myself. He never bought me a dress, never did a dish, never bought the children clothes, never turned on the vacuum (yep, the one I bought), never helped discipline the children or helped drive them anywhere, never helped with their homework, etc., etc., etc., and I’m the one who is going to HELL because I didn’t have more children ! (MORE for ME to take care of ?) I had four of his children and he never bought a crib – – not ONE ! He never changed a diaper, (and that was back when I had to wash all the diapers, they were not throw-aways ! Oh, Well, if there had been throw-aways, I would have never been ‘allowed’ to use them or buy them anyway, the spilt milk theory fits well in here.) He never warmed up a bottle or cooked a meal for anyone. And his reason for not doing ‘anything’ for the kids: “You had them, you take care of them.”

    You may think this is a STORY someone (me) is making up ! Because it seems so unreal, but I’ll tell you I will never forgive him in this life. NEVER ! ! ! It may take me an eternity to forgive him in the next ! I can not stand to be in the same room with him and of course ‘sometimes’ (baptisms, blessings, etc.) he shows up with his ‘stupid’ grin on, like he ever did anything that helped those kids…….
    he didn’t beat the kids like he did me, so; of course, they don’t have some of the feelings that I have. Also you may be thinking that he was drinking or chasing out or – – but as far as I know, he didn’t do any of that ! I would pray that he would, so that I could have a ligitimate reason for divorce. But he never did. In fact if he had been drunk on any of those occassions I might have been able to understand, I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND ! (NOT IN THIS LIFE ANYWAY.)

    Well, – – sorry, I suppose you didn’t want an epistle, but you’ve got one – – I guess I had to vent !

    Loni Gregson
    99 So. Wellington Dr.
    Kaysville, Utah 84037

    Phone: 801 -698 – 7086 (cell) I even get my own cell, how about that !

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