Give Them Choices


A Great Idea …

“By permitting your child to exercise some self-direction at home, you’ll help him develop, refine, and practice the skills you want him to be able to draw on when he’s not with his parents.” (Psychologist Laurence Steinberg, in his book The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting p.109)

In Other Words …

Giving children lots of opportunities to make choices can prepare them to be good decision makers. We can let little children decide what kind of sandwich they want for lunch. We can let older children decide which chores they want to be assigned. We can let teens decide where to do their homework.

How This Applies to You …

Find ways to let your child have some control over his or her life in the next week. You can still set limits, but let the child decide within those limits.

To Find Out More …

For an excellent (and free!) program on parenting, see The Parenting Journey at www.arfamilies.org and if your children are younger than six, check out See the World Through My Eyes.

For more in depth reading on parenting, we recommend The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting by Laurence Steinberg or Soft-spoken Parenting by H. Wallace Goddard.

Author: H. Wallace Goddard

Wally Goddard is a retired professor of Family Life having served in Arkansas and Alabama. He developed programs on personal well-being, marriage, and parenting. He is well known for his many creative family programs, including The Marriage Garden, The Parenting Journey, and Blueprint for Happiness. Wally has authored or co-authored several books including Between Parent and Child, The Soft-Spoken Parent, and Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage. He has been recognized by his colleagues with several awards including the Outstanding Family Life Educator Award. Wally and his wife, Nancy, have three adult children, fourteen grandchildren, and have cared for many foster children over the years. Wally describes Nancy as the finest human being he has ever known.

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