Weed Your Own Garden


A Great Idea …

“It is human nature to notice mistakes and weaknesses in others. At the same time, we tend to excuse our own mistakes because of stress or pressure. Yet the way to strengthen a relationship is to weed our own gardens while appreciating our partners’ flowers.” (Professors of Family Life, H. Wallace Goddard and James P. Marshall, in their publication, The Marriage Garden)

In Other Words …

The next time you are tempted to find fault with your partner, choose instead to be a better partner. Ask yourself: How can I bring more life and goodness to our relationship? Maybe you will choose to be less critical or more appreciative.

How This Applies to You…

The next time a conflict arises between you and your partner, stop trying to push for your view. Take time to learn the meaning that your partner attaches to the situation. Ask your partner to describe the situation from his or her point of view. See if you can understand and appreciate that point of view.

To Find Out More…

For more great ideas (or to share your ideas) check out the Navigating Life’s Journey blog

For an excellent (and free!) program on marriage, see The Marriage Garden at Arkansas Families.

For an excellent book focused on marriage, read The Marriage Garden by H. Wallace Goddard and James P. Marshall or Why Marriages Succeed or Fail by John Gottman.

Author: H. Wallace Goddard

Wally Goddard is a retired professor of Family Life having served in Arkansas and Alabama. He developed programs on personal well-being, marriage, and parenting. He is well known for his many creative family programs, including The Marriage Garden, The Parenting Journey, and Blueprint for Happiness. Wally has authored or co-authored several books including Between Parent and Child, The Soft-Spoken Parent, and Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage. He has been recognized by his colleagues with several awards including the Outstanding Family Life Educator Award. Wally and his wife, Nancy, have three adult children, fourteen grandchildren, and have cared for many foster children over the years. Wally describes Nancy as the finest human being he has ever known.

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