Want A Compassionate Teen?

A Great Idea …

“The best way to help a teenager develop a broader range of empathy is to help provide a consistent experience of being understood and empathized with.” (Stanley I. Greenspan, in his book, The Secure Child, p. 43)

In Other Words …

Teenagers need our compassion and understanding just as much as younger children do. When they are independent or argumentative, it may be harder for us to give understanding to them. Yet when we are quick to criticize our teens, especially before completely hearing them out, they will be less willing to share with us. They will also have a harder time practicing the empathy that we have not modeled for them.

How This Applies to You …

Make time to be with your teenager this week. Before you get together, think about the things that are happening in his or her life. Think about your teen’s interests and concerns. Then, when you get together, listen with your whole self. Try to feel what your teen feels. The more empathy and understanding you show your teenager, the closer you will be and the more your child will develop empathy for others.

To Find Out More …

For more great ideas (or to share your ideas), visit our Navigating Life’s Journey blog.

For an excellent (and free!) program on parenting, see The Parenting Journey at www.arfamilies.org and, if you have children less than 6 years of age, check out See the World Through My Eyes.

For more in-depth reading, we recommend The Secure Child by Stanley I. Greenspan or Between Parent and Teenager by Haim Ginottwhich can be found online at www.betweenparentandchild.com

Author: H. Wallace Goddard

Wally Goddard is a retired professor of Family Life having served in Arkansas and Alabama. He developed programs on personal well-being, marriage, and parenting. He is well known for his many creative family programs, including The Marriage Garden, The Parenting Journey, and Blueprint for Happiness. Wally has authored or co-authored several books including Between Parent and Child, The Soft-Spoken Parent, and Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage. He has been recognized by his colleagues with several awards including the Outstanding Family Life Educator Award. Wally and his wife, Nancy, have three adult children, fourteen grandchildren, and have cared for many foster children over the years. Wally describes Nancy as the finest human being he has ever known.

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