At a time when I was at a spiritual and professional crossroads, I desperately wanted counsel from my wise and compassionate dad. But he had died a year previous. I missed him terribly.
Fortunately I got even more desperate as I struggled for an answer and found none. One day I got desperate enough to leave meetings and find solitude in a restroom where I locked the door and begged Dad for his counsel. When I paused to listen, I felt warm, reassuring, and wise counsel come to mind. I knew it was from Dad. I wrote it down. As I acted on his counsel, our lives have gotten better and better. I believe that my dad is just as interested and even more able to counsel me now than when he lived in mortality.
Following Grandma
I did not want to presume on heaven’s goodness. But I felt there was still more.
My paternal grandmother was a counselor in the general presidency of the Young Women beginning in 1937. I read her articles in Church magazines. I read her correspondence. I also read her expressions of love to her children in her scrapbook and letters.
Unfortunately, Grandma died when I was just barely 16 months of age. So I can’t remember her holding me and cooing to me, her first grandson. I can’t remember her voice or words. But everyone who knew her told of her powerful testimony and great passion for the gospel. When I read a letter inviting her to speak to a group of Young Women in Logan, I longed to be there.
I exerted myself. I studied her notes. I found a quiet place and imagined her sitting on the stand in a chapel of that era. I found that the Spirit would not let me sit in the audience, but He would allow me to stand in the foyer and hear Grandma speak. I could almost hear the words and themes in my mind. I certainly felt the warmth as she testified of God’s great gifts and invited the Young Women to be true to their covenants.
What a blessing to hear Grandma speak after these many years of silence!
Family Gatherings
Recently our family gathered in the temple for a sealing. I felt sure that our ancestors wanted to attend. And we wanted them to attend. So I sent an invitation—by way of prayer. I asked that Father allow them to visit and be a part of this cherished family experience.
When we arrived in the sealing room, I mentally placed our cherished visitors in specific seats. I imagined them sitting there. I mentally expressed my love and appreciation to them. I was flooded with joy even before the sealing began.
Moments in History
Some years ago I started to make a list of the great moments in the history of this world that I wish I had witnessed. The list did not include the expected moments: Elijah on Mount Carmel, Moses parting the Red Sea, or Jesus feeding the 5,000. The moments in history I wanted to see were more personal.
I would like to see Grandpa Ben as he traveled Utah selling Bibles. He was a reluctant immigrant, an English preacher following his girlfriend. I would like to see his face as it was illuminated by the preaching of Bishop Price in Goshen, Utah—and this Methodist preacher from England decided to be baptized.
I wanted to see Grandpa Ben’s retirement party at the Bureau of Information on Temple Square after he had led the work for 27 years. I wanted to see my young dad serving at the gathering.
I wanted to see Grandpa Wallace—after whom I have the blessing of being named―on the morning he got news that he had not been re-elected to an eighth term as Salt Lake County Attorney. I wanted to see him clear out his desk and return home to his dear companion and hear her say, “Welcome home, Lover-dear.”
I would like to see my Goddard ancestors gathered on a summer’s eve in the cabin up Emigration Canyon. I would love to peer through the screen door and hear my Grandpa Goddard lead the family in prayer.
I would love to see my dear companion’s childhood. She is the kindest and finest person I have ever known. I know that I would enjoy seeing her play with Acel, Susan, Alan, and Lori.
There are other moments in the history of this world that seem especially sacred to me. I have already seen some of them.
I look forward to seeing more.
Ministering of Angels
Are there other ways that immortals can bless us? Are the ways only limited by our imaginations? I have often invited my dear dad to accompany me on speaking assignments. I have asked heaven to allow immortals to help me when I undertake a new writing project. (I call them the book team.)
We might modify Elisha’s insight: “Fear not: for they that be with us are more than [we ever imagined]” (2 Kings 6:16).
Consider the words of President Faust at the April 2006 General Conference:
In ancient and modern times angels have appeared and given instruction, warnings, and direction, which benefited the people they visited. We do not consciously realize the extent to which ministering angels affect our lives. President Joseph F. Smith said, “In like manner our fathers and mothers, brothers, sisters and friends who have passed away from this earth, having been faithful, and worthy to enjoy these rights and privileges, may have a mission given them to visit their relatives and friends upon the earth again, bringing from the divine Presence messages of love, of warning, or reproof and instruction, to those whom they had learned to love in the flesh.” Many of us feel that we have had this experience. Their ministry has been and is an important part of the gospel.
I would extend President Faust’s statement to say that the ministry of immortals can be, not only an important part of the gospel, but also an important and blessed part of our daily lives.
For the young woman who is missing her dad I say, “Invite him over for some daddy-daughter time. He will come gladly.
You will both be blessed by the time together.” I know from experience.
Reference
Faust, J. E. (2006, April). A Royal Priesthood. Ensign (May, 2006) page.
6 Comments
I came across DrWally.org today. I have read Dr Wally’s articles and have found them to be very helpful. I didn’t know whether to post to Magic Moments or this one which is very close to my heart. My dear son, David, took his life 5 years ago, just after having a productive week and ending with General Conference.
Our family was devastated…and I was the last one to see him alive. I have a testimony, seemed to be born with one. But have been tried and tested, but never, ever thought this could happen to me.
I have had responses from my son. Only ones that I would understand. He helps me find car keys, and I think I even asked him to help me lift a rock.
David received his temple endowments a year after his death, and I feel that he is rallying my Irish relatives and is being a great missionary.
He was very loving and kind, but suffered from ADHD and other difficulties that brought on bullies, the last one was the assistant principal. He suffered from depression but you would never know it as he was on the move constantly, and in hindsight, he was self-medicating using activity to curb his depression.
He was loving in his suicide note, but felt he was a burden to everyone…which wasn’t true. But 15 1/2 years of being “different” was all he could bare.
I want to write more, but what I have will suffice. As I’ve wondered about immortals even before my son took his own life. I have been blessed with peace and comfort, but there is still an emptiness and probably won’t be totally filled until I see him again.
Christi,
What a beautiful account of a heart-breaking situation. Thank you for sharing it. I feel your compassion and earnestness.
I suppose that we can probably learn to feel more connected to our departed loved ones. When I speak at meetings, I always take a picture of my Dad with me. I miss him. But I feel blessed that he can now go places he never imagined in mortality.
Blessings to you and David.
Wally
My 32 year old daughter has a recommend to go to the temple for the first time. She was divorced 6 years ago and about 3 years ago came back to church after about 14 years of inactivity. My mother was dying of a brain tumor when my daughter was having her teenage rebellion. My mother was deeply concerned about her. I am excited about the concept of inviting my mother to the temple when her grand daughter takes out her endowments. My mother is going to be thrilled beyond measure and I am looking forward to having her there. In my spiritual thinking I thought she might be there but inviting her in prayer is such an exciting concept to me.
There are amazing possibilities open to us! It has blessed us to feel ancestors present on sacred occasions.
Blessings to you, Charmaine.
-Wally
Thank you Wally, I can’t believe I wrote this a month ago, time goes by so fast. I have a very ill brother, age 58 and has AML-Leukemia. He is inactive and his wife is not a member. I can only hope he gets well to the point that he can work in a profession or one he is familiar with when the Drs feel that he has fought the cancer.
He has had a blood stem cell transplant at LDS hospital and now lives in Park City, Utah rent free from the blessings of a former employer of my Sister in Law when they lived in California.
We have offered them a home in Idaho rent free close to us to help assist them. I feel that the Lord has blessed them and us to help them in this “refiner’s fire” to my brother’s family and my brother.
Your article is so helpful in reaffirming that my parents and other ancestors and my son, David are helping in this trial in their lives. But I feel so frustrated that I cannot communicate to my Sister in Law about the blessings that the LDS church can offer, the Book of Mormon, Priesthood blessings, etc.
We are limited in our resources and I’m limited in what I can say. My Sister in Law believes in Jesus Christ and the New Testament. Even at that belief system, she really doesn’t know the Bible and believes that God is all Spirit and that our bodies won’t be resurrected in the idea of our actual body parts will combine with our spirit bodies to be made whole.
I’ve encouraged her in many ways that I can. But she is so weak in faith and hasn’t been faithful in attending her own church, etc.
Anyway, I’m writing this as I really wanted to respond to your article on Joy. I have had those feelings of Joy come about my day and also have felt it in Sacrament Meeting as well as other places, but I cannot help my Sister in Law in this concept, as it takes so much strength on my part to continue to encourage her as she is the sole caretaker and isolated.
The only time I was able to have my brother accept a Priesthood blessing from the Missionaries was when his illness was first diagnosed and he was in the UCDavis Medical Center in Sacramento. Also, they accepted the help of 3 sets of missisonaries to help them move to my town in Idaho.
We provided a large box truck, large cargo trailer and our time and money to move them, and these wonderful missionaries helped to load them up with all of my brother’s belongings as they have lost their home due to my brother’s illness.
Anyway, the transplant had to be done in Salt Lake City at LDS hospital and my older brother was a match. Now it is waiting for it to work fully, but that is still 9 months away, and still they have to be cautious.
Well, parts of this should be on a response to the Joy article, but the Lord has blessed them when they needed His blessings, but there is so much worry and stress before this happens and since I’ve been schooled in faith from the day I was born, it is so very hard to relay this to my brother’s family.
So much has happened and I needed some comfort and joy, and read your article, which has brought me Joy and an answer to my prayers, as I feel so sad that my Sister in Law will not accept the help that is surrounding her in Utah.
And yet she writes to me of so many needs and distress that I cannot comfort her bringing in concepts of Christ love and positive thinking that messages are misconstrued and she is negative to my other siblings encouragement or lack of.
After much negative talk about my family, finally the blessing arrives in financial form that I had told her to just let go and let peace in, allow positive things or energy to come into her life as she was fighting so hard to make it happen in such a negative way that it has alienated my siblings and me at this time. That I can’t write to her to congratulate her on the “Good News”.
All I know is that the Lord is watching over them and Angels as well, and I guess me too. As I was directed to read your article on Joy and express myself here which is so needed. Although it might be in the wrong place.
I don’t know, I have so much sorrow today as I don’t know how much longer I can bear my brother’s burdens. And my husband and children (youngest is 17 1/2) have been most helpful in this crisis but are human and get frustrated as well as we have also helped my brother’s son move to Idaho as well and he lacks the maturity of a young man of 25, and is not a member of the church due to my brother’s inactivity.
So he lacks the teachings of the Bible and positive thinking as well. Which is hard for my own children who are very self-sufficient and helpful.
Well, so here I am and I feel strengthened by your articles, but the saga of my brother’s illness is not over and they will be returning to Idaho in a few months as the Drs agree it is okay. If they could stay in Utah in a clean environment, free of rent they would probably stay there.
But only time will tell.
Christi,
What a lot of challenges! What a blessing that you are helping in so many ways–and wanting to bless in still more!
There are two things I recommend in helping those whose hands hang down:
1. Express compassion. “I don’t know how you do so much!”
2. Rejoice. “I am thankful for your example. I am grateful for God who will turn all our afflictions into blessings.
May God bless you and your family.
-Wally