How Can I Provide A Safe Haven For My Partner?

Here’s a great idea …

In her book, Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson says “If we have generally found others to be safe havens and have a secure bond with our lover, then it is easier for us to keep our emotional balance when we feel vulnerable, connect with our deepest feelings and voice the attachment longing that is always part of us.” (p. 143)

In other words …

Everyone needs a safe place where they can let their guard down and be themselves. By paying attention to our partners and providing them with support and empathy, our relationship can become that safe place. The more our partners can see our relationship as a safe place, the more free they can feel to open up and share with us.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life …

This week encourage your partner to share with you what is going on in their life: their frustrations, their hopes, their joys, and their fears. The more support and acceptance we can give our partners, the safer they will feel about sharing with us.

To find out more…

about couple relationships, check out The Marriage Garden program at arfamilies.org, follow us at facebook.com/navigatinglife or contact your local county Extension agent. You can also read Johnson’s Hold Me Tight.

Author: H. Wallace Goddard

Wally Goddard is a retired professor of Family Life having served in Arkansas and Alabama. He developed programs on personal well-being, marriage, and parenting. He is well known for his many creative family programs, including The Marriage Garden, The Parenting Journey, and Blueprint for Happiness. Wally has authored or co-authored several books including Between Parent and Child, The Soft-Spoken Parent, and Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage. He has been recognized by his colleagues with several awards including the Outstanding Family Life Educator Award. Wally and his wife, Nancy, have three adult children, fourteen grandchildren, and have cared for many foster children over the years. Wally describes Nancy as the finest human being he has ever known.

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