Speak From Peace


A Great Idea …

“We can’t help feeling angry or upset with our children from time to time, but, as a rule, it’s not a good idea to discipline your children when you’re mad or distressed. Your anger may be perfectly legitimate…but you’ll exercise better judgment as a parent if you’ll calm down and wait for your anger to subside a bit.” (Psychologist Laurence Steinberg, in his book The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting, p. 26)

In Other Words …

Parenting often combines life’s frustrations with childish mistakes. It’s perfectly natural to get angry, but it’s not very helpful. We will be more effective if we take time to calm down before we respond to our children’s misdeeds.

How This Applies to You …

The next time you feel like exploding with your child, take a break. Maybe you ask the child to go to their room while you collect your thoughts. Find a peaceful place. Take some deep breaths. Think about your child’s point of view. Consider what will help them learn. The key is not to make the child sorry but to help them live better lives.

To Find Out More…

For an excellent (and free!) program on parenting, see The Parenting Journey at www.arfamilies.org and if your children are younger than six, check out See the World Through My Eyes.

For more in-depth reading, we recommend The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting by Laurence Steinberg or Soft-Spoken Parenting by H. Wallace Goddard.

Author: H. Wallace Goddard

Wally Goddard is a retired professor of Family Life having served in Arkansas and Alabama. He developed programs on personal well-being, marriage, and parenting. He is well known for his many creative family programs, including The Marriage Garden, The Parenting Journey, and Blueprint for Happiness. Wally has authored or co-authored several books including Between Parent and Child, The Soft-Spoken Parent, and Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage. He has been recognized by his colleagues with several awards including the Outstanding Family Life Educator Award. Wally and his wife, Nancy, have three adult children, fourteen grandchildren, and have cared for many foster children over the years. Wally describes Nancy as the finest human being he has ever known.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *