Look Past The Pain

A Great Idea …

“It seems wise to give your partner the benefit of the doubt whenever possible. When you feel hurt, look carefully to see if the offense was the result of an honest mistake. For most of us, most of the time, our partner’s misdeeds are mistakes or a result of imperfections. It can be difficult to see something that hurt us as an error, because when we feel hurt or disappointed it is easier to see our spouse’s action or inaction as intentional or mean-spirited.” (Psychologist Blaine J. Fowers, in his book, Beyond the Myth of Marital Happiness p. 174)

In Other Words …

We often assume that our partners hurt us on purpose-or maybe because they are careless or selfish. Generally the problem is simply that they are human. When we realize this, it is much easier to forgive our partners and get over our hurt and irritation.

How This Applies to You…

The next time your partner upsets you, pause. Think of a good reason for his or her actions. When you start with the assumption that your partner loves you and does not intentionally want to hurt you, it is easier to respond in gentle ways.

To Find Out More…

For more great ideas (or to share your ideas) check out the Navigating Life’s Journey blog

For an excellent (and free!) program on marriage, see The Marriage Garden at Arkansas Families.

For an excellent book focused on marriage, read Beyond the Myth of Marital Happiness by Blaine J. Fowers or The Marriage Garden by H. Wallace Goddard and James P. Marshall.

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