A Great Idea …
“Seeing our partner’s point of view is essential to nurturing our relationships. How can we respond lovingly to our partners’ needs and preferences when we don’t know their needs and preferences? We must get outside of our own views and into our partners’ views if we hope to nurture a vibrant relationship.” (Professors of Family Life, H. Wallace Goddard and James P. Marshall, in their book, The Marriage Garden pp. 62-63)
In Other Words …
Each of us sees our own point of view. But that is only half of the story-or maybe less. When it comes to loving our partners effectively, our partners are the experts. We should listen carefully. We should notice their preferences. Seeing our partners’ points of view enlarges our understanding and broadens our horizons.
How This Applies to You…
Do you want to be an expert partner? The thing that separates ordinary from extraordinary partners is the willingness to take their partners’ points of view. So think about your partner’s hopes and dreams, struggles and disappointments. Then take genuine interest and show heartfelt support. You will become one of the extraordinary partners.
To Find Out More…
For more great ideas (or to share your ideas) check out the Navigating Life’s Journey blog
For an excellent (and free!) program on marriage, see The Marriage Garden at Arkansas Families.
For an excellent book focused on marriage, read The Marriage Garden by H. Wallace Goddard and James P. Marshall or The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman.
Comment
Looking through the eyes of my partner has proven to be a great challenge for me. I have found that when I forget about what I think I need from my partner, and then focus on what she needs – which is to be understood – she feels more at ease. I have also found that when I am trying to understand her, I feel more love for her and she is “opened” to me as a wonderful person with many gifts and talents. I am in awe. I need to find more ways to express that awe so that she can feel understood.