Protect Rather Than Attack

Here’s a great idea …

In their book, How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It, Patricia Love and Steven Stosny say, “We’re giving you a tall order: Be at your best when your partner is at his or her worst.” (p. 110)

In other words …

When our partners are upset, we may be tempted to get drawn into a battle. Rather than fight our partners, we can bring peace.

Here’s how you can use this idea to have a better life …

The next time your partner is upset with you or life, resist the urge to defend yourself or argue. Look at your partner. Ask yourself how you can connect rather than withdraw, protect rather than attack, and reassure rather than undermine. Try it. You may find that it brings surprisingly positive results.

To find out more…

about couple relationships, check out The Marriage Garden program at arfamilies.org, follow us at facebook.com/navigatinglife,or contact your local county Extension agent. You can also read Love and Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It.

Author: H. Wallace Goddard

Wally Goddard is a retired professor of Family Life having served in Arkansas and Alabama. He developed programs on personal well-being, marriage, and parenting. He is well known for his many creative family programs, including The Marriage Garden, The Parenting Journey, and Blueprint for Happiness. Wally has authored or co-authored several books including Between Parent and Child, The Soft-Spoken Parent, and Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage. He has been recognized by his colleagues with several awards including the Outstanding Family Life Educator Award. Wally and his wife, Nancy, have three adult children, fourteen grandchildren, and have cared for many foster children over the years. Wally describes Nancy as the finest human being he has ever known. View all posts by H. Wallace Goddard