The Trick to Loving Children Effectively

Do you want to know the trick to loving children effectively?

Here’s a great idea …

In his book, Soft-Spoken Parenting, H. Wallace Goddard says, “There is a trick to loving children effectively. Effective loving requires us to deliver what is important to the specific child we are loving. It is not enough to say ‘I love you!’ -even with gusto. We can tell a daughter that she is loved, but she may prefer you play with her. We can tell our son he is loved, but he may prefer that you throw the ball with him. One child might want snuggling while another loves story time. Each child is different.” (p. 147)

In other words …

We all have our own love language, which is the way we most prefer to be shown love. The major love languages are “Show Me, Tell Me, and Touch Me.” We can discover our children’s love language by paying attention to how they show love to others and by noticing what they ask us to do with or for them.

How you can use this idea to have a better life …

Learn your child’s love language and be willing to love him or her in that way. It may involve snuggling, playing with, or reading to your child. Let them teach you how they want to be loved.

To find out more …

about parenting, check out The Parenting Journey or See the World Through My Eyes programs at, follow us at or contact your local county Extension agent. You can also read Goddard’s Soft-Spoken Parenting.

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