Don’t Hurry Their Healing

A Great Idea …

“In times of great stress, when children experience fears, anxieties, worries, or angry feelings, there will be the temptation to provide the reassurance for them, versus offering an empathic, warm, and very available relationship in which they can work out their own feelings.” (Pediatrician, Stanley I. Greenspan, in his book, The Secure Child p. 30)

In Other Words …

When our children are upset, we sometimes rush to reassure them that everything will be ok. This may or may not be helpful. A better approach is to listen compassionately to them. Let them take the lead. As they talk through their feelings, there is a good chance that they will find the solutions to their problems.

How This Applies to You …

The next time your child is struggling with intense feelings, take time to listen. Just listen. Try to understand and feel what the child is feeling. As long as the child is upset, say nothing but words to show that you understand the child’s feelings.

To Find Out More …

For more great ideas (or to share your ideas), visit our Navigating Life’s Journey blog.

For an excellent (and free!) program on parenting, see The Parenting Journey at www.arfamilies.org and, if you have children less than 6 years of age, check out See the World Through My Eyes.

For more in-depth reading, we recommend The Secure Child by Stanley Greenspan Between Parent and Child by Haim G. Ginott.

Author: H. Wallace Goddard

Wally Goddard is a retired professor of Family Life having served in Arkansas and Alabama. He developed programs on personal well-being, marriage, and parenting. He is well known for his many creative family programs, including The Marriage Garden, The Parenting Journey, and Blueprint for Happiness. Wally has authored or co-authored several books including Between Parent and Child, The Soft-Spoken Parent, and Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage. He has been recognized by his colleagues with several awards including the Outstanding Family Life Educator Award. Wally and his wife, Nancy, have three adult children, fourteen grandchildren, and have cared for many foster children over the years. Wally describes Nancy as the finest human being he has ever known. View all posts by H. Wallace Goddard