H. Wallace Goddard and Barbara Keil
In Elder’s Quorum, we were talking about prayer. A kind, gentle, wise brother raised his hand. I was interested to hear his question. In his quiet voice, he asked, “Why did I pray when it didn’t turn out?”
I felt his pain. There are challenges in his family life that are distressing. I can imagine him praying sincerely and repeatedly for heaven’s help. I felt keenly his struggle and disappointment.
“I have faith. My desire is righteous. Why was the blessing not granted?” The question is difficult.
We often pray for something righteous trusting that “the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16). But sometimes even faithful and righteous prayers do not deliver what we hoped for.
I remember an unexpected prayer blessing. After my cancer surgery, one of my kidneys was distressed. It turned out that the ureter that was supposed to drain it was plugged by scar tissue. My left kidney was being destroyed. An interventional radiologist attempted to clear the blockage. I sat in the waiting room awaiting the test that would tell me whether the intervention was successful. If the procedure worked, my kidney could function better. If it did not work, I would need additional surgery or a perpetual stent draining my kidney. As I sat in the waiting room, I prayed earnestly.
After praying silently in the waiting room for a time, I felt that I wanted some time alone with Father. I left the crowded waiting room and headed down the hall looking for a quiet place. I found a side hall that was peaceful. In a quiet corner I presented my plea to Father. And head bowed, I waited.
In a kind and gentle way, Father let me know that the procedure had not worked. The answer was distinct. I did not hear His voice but I had a clear impression. I could have been bitterly disappointed. I was not. I felt to thank my Father for letting me know. He had come to an anxious son and offered—not a magical solution—but reassurance—reassurance that He was watching over me. As Pete Greig concluded: “I received nothing that I asked for, all that I hoped for. My prayer was answered, I was most blessed.”
I did not know that day at the hospital that the failure of the procedure would lead to meeting a new surgeon who was a blessing to our lives medically and spiritually.
The first message for us when prayers seem to not be answered is to be patient. Sometimes our petitions are not granted immediately or as we had originally hoped. But if we are patient, we may see that God orchestrates those blessings or different blessings for us down the road. And sometimes we come to see that God’s timeline and plans for us are far superior to our own.
Still, the brother’s question troubled me. Many of us have had times in which we have turned to God in faith with fervent prayers related to serious trials, yet those trials persist. A loved one dies. A marriage ends. Infertility. Chronic health issues. Financial hardships. Receiving the counsel that we simply need to be patient and other blessings will come, while true, may seem too shallow. How are we to view the purpose or effectiveness of prayer in those circumstances?
I love Fenelon’s prayer written around 1700AD. I am still trying to apply it to my impatient soul.
Lord, I know not what I ought to ask of thee; Thou only knowest what I need;
Thou lovest me better than I know how to love myself.
O Father! give to Thy child that which he himself knows not how to ask.
I dare not ask either for crosses or consolations:
I simply present myself before Thee, I open my heart to Thee.
Behold my needs which I know not myself; see and do according to Thy tender mercy. Smite, or heal; depress me, or raise me up:
I adore all thy purposes without knowing them; I am silent;
I offer myself in sacrifice; I yield myself to Thee;
I would have no other desire than to accomplish Thy will.
That is a powerful prayer! Rather than demand certain outcomes, it acknowledges that God loves us and will ultimately give us what is right, glorious, and joyous. He is our perfectly loving Father!
The second message for us when prayers do not seem to be answered centers upon the word “ultimately”. While Father will ultimately work all things for our good, that sometimes means the glorious outcome will not occur on this earth. It will be fulfilled after we join Him in eternity. We can trust as we continue in covenant faith that ultimately, we will be healed of any pain, reunited with loved ones, and granted blessings that will fill the desires of our souls.
While we treasure that promise, it can be difficult to not see our prayers fulfilled here and now. When this occurs, it is tempting to fall into a trap—the trap of viewing prayers as transactional. We might be tempted to think, “I am turning to You in earnest and righteous prayer. Since I have exhibited faith, my prayers should be answered as I desire. If they aren’t, then it is reasonable for me to doubt the purpose of prayer and my faith in You.”
But God is not like a gumball machine. We do not insert our prayer, pull a lever and expect a blessing to pop out. That is not the purpose of prayer. True faith is not transactional. True faith trusts in the Lord come what may.
Let’s consider the example of Jesus. He showed us the importance of prefacing and ending our prayer requests with faith-filled intentions. When he prayed, “remove this cup from me”, He began with, “If thou be willing” and ended with, “nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done.” While He made His own desires known, the key purpose of Jesus’ prayer was to trust in the will and purposes of His Father.
We chose this opportunity to come to a fallen earth as fallen mortals in order to grow and prepare for eternity with Father. We knew that we would face sorrows and trials as well as joys and triumphs. But now, having forgotten what we once knew, we insist that God explain and justify those challenges in a way that makes sense to us or that He make them go away. Yet the heaven inspired formula for dealing with our challenges is: “Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed.”
When sorrows and trials occur, our purpose in prayer is not to guarantee a way to avoid them. Our purpose in prayer is to lean on Him because without Him, we would fall over. We pray in order to access the guidance, comfort, and strength He will grant us to see us through our circumstances.
I have defined faith as the stubborn resolve to see God’s goodness in everything that happens. With faith, we rejoice when prayers are answered as we hoped. With faith, we are patient when prayers are not immediately granted, awaiting His orchestration of blessings down the road. With faith, we trust that while some of our prayers may not be fulfilled on earth, we will be healed and granted glorious blessings when we return home to our Loving Father.
God Himself declared that “he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious” (Doctrine and Covenants 78:19). All things. Everything. Sunshine and rain. Struggles and growth. We who see only hints of His glorious purposes, should pray earnestly AND trust completely.
I do not know why God delays or withholds blessings. But I do know God. I know His immense goodness. And having trusted Him, I testify that He blesses His children.
Invitation:
My newest book, The Compassionate Heart: Uplifting Your Life and Relationships was just released as an audio book and an eBook.
To get the audiobook, go to: https://www.audible.com/pd/B0D4XJBG2G
To get the eBook, go to: https://a.co/eykdVda
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