The brother of Jared—that amazing disciple who pierced the veil with his faith—acknowledged, “Now behold, O Lord, and do not be angry with thy servant because of his weakness before thee; for we know that thou art holy and dwellest in the heavens, and that we are unworthy before thee; because of the fall our natures have become evil continually” (Ether 3:2).
Consider that, “because of the fall our natures have become evil continually.”
Weakness. Unworthy. Fall. Evil. We limp along spiritually trying to do what is right but making lots of mistakes. In fact, if we are honest with ourselves, we know that we ignore some commandments almost entirely while keeping others partially and irregularly.
We covet. We lust. We judge people. We are impatient and unkind. We tend to ignore some commandments while congratulating ourselves for those we do keep—or at least keep better than some people we know. While we like to think we are good people, we are riddled with sins. When we are honest with ourselves, we must admit with the brother of Jared that “because of the fall our natures have become evil continually.”
Most of us probably hit a time when we feel completely unworthy—maybe even worthless. We may feel lost, hopeless, desperate, and discouraged. We just can’t ignore our bedeviling fallenness. We can try to reassure ourselves that we are not as bad as we might be.
By whatever means we get there, the result is the same. We hate our fallenness.
In our anguish, we may ask ourselves painful questions. “How could I be so stupid?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Is there any hope for me?”
Often it feels as if any connection we had with our beloved Father in Heaven is broken. “He must be sick of me.” “I will never make it.” “I give up.” We groan into quiet despair. We may limp through the motions of a saintly life, but we live with nagging hopelessness.
In our state of misery, we may feel even more estranged as others shine. “I’ll never be as good as they.”
Satan laughs. Heaven weeps. We feel desperately alone.
Maybe we shove the anguish into the shadows. Yet, the despair can last a long time–unless we find God’s answer. Right in the heart of the Book of Mormon is God’s answer to our hopelessness. God answers our gloom with the story of someone who should have been better than any of us but was worse than all of us.
Yea, I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell; yea, I saw that I had rebelled against my God, and that I had not kept his holy commandments.
Alma 36:13-16
Yea, and I had murdered many of his children, or rather led them away unto destruction; yea, and in fine so great had been my iniquities, that the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror.
Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body, that I might not be brought to stand in the presence of my God, to be judged of my deeds.
And now, for three days and for three nights was I racked, even with the pains of a damned soul.
We should notice what Alma did NOT do to deal with his despair. He did not make a new resolve. He did not make a self-improvement plan. In his despair, he did not set goals.
What DID he do? He remembered what his father had taught him about Jesus. There is the key!
And it came to pass that as I was thus racked with torment, while I was harrowed up by the memory of my many sins, behold, I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world.
Alma 36:17
Many of us in times of despair try to patch up our souls. We resolve to do better and try harder—as if we were able to save ourselves by willpower. It is Satan who would have us turn from our shortcomings and commit to make ourselves better. In stark contrast, God would have us focus on Jesus and his ability to redeem.
Alma shows us God’s way—a way that transforms us! The solution when we are in despair is not to try to convince ourselves that we are doing better than we think we are; The powerful solution is not to stiffen our resolve and set lofty goals. The solution is not in us. The solution is Jesus. The solution is to realize what He is ready and willing to do!
We don’t—and can’t—save ourselves; saving is what Jesus does and which he does so magnificently!
Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me, who am in the gall of bitterness, and am encircled about by the everlasting chains of death.
Alma 36:18
Alma was throwing himself completely on the merits, mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah. I think he was saying to Jesus, “Destroy me if You must. Save me if You can. I cannot continue in this misery one more minute.”
Just as with Alma, miracles happen when we trust Him completely—when we surrender our self-delusion and self-improvement programs and simply acknowledge our dependence on Him for the transformation that will rescue us from our stubborn fallenness. Maybe the “mighty change of heart” is a change from thinking we can save ourselves with our stout determination to recognizing that only He can turn our sins from brightest red to white as snow.
Maybe that is the hardest thing for any of us to do—to turn ourselves over to Him, to open ourselves to His love and redemption, to trust Him with our souls, to be peaceful in His redemption. When faith—or desperation—push us to trust Him fully, then the miracles happen
And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more.
Alma 36:19-23
And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!
Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.
Yea, methought I saw, even as our father Lehi saw, God sitting upon his throne, surrounded with numberless concourses of angels, in the attitude of singing and praising their God; yea, and my soul did long to be there.
But behold, my limbs did receive their strength again, and I stood upon my feet, and did manifest unto the people that I had been born of God.
Alma went from being the vilest of sinners to seeing the face of God. His was not a decades-long story of soul-renovation. It was a conversion, a transformation, a mighty change. It was instantaneous and complete. The thing that changed Alma was not his self-improvement program supported by great determination. No. Alma was changed by surrendering himself completely to Jesus.
His story can be our story. But only if we use the same power and process that Alma used.
So, let me ask, when you feel dismayed and discouraged by your spiritual failures, what do you do? Do you get quietly dispirited limping along feeling that you are spiritually inferior? Do you give up? Do you set new goals and try harder—only to fail again?
When all other methods fail, have you tried Alma’s method—have you turned your heart to Jesus? Do you accept that He has the intention and power to rescue you? Do you believe that He loves you enough to carry out that rescue? –that nothing you can do or fail to do will change how much you matter to Him? This is the heart of the Good News—that you are loved personally and eternally by the Lord Jesus Christ!
And have you then pondered what you should do in response to that love? Are you willing to fully surrender yourself to Him? Do you accept that it is His power and authority that conquers your failings and allows you to become a new creature in Him? Do you utilize the Sacrament to leave your weaknesses with Him each week acknowledging that you can’t do it on your own and accept the invitation to try again with Him as your mentor? Do you become more intentional about filling your life with Him each day? Does your life reflect the hope, joy and light Alma described when he fully surrendered to Jesus?
Have we featured Jesus as the star of our salvation history?
The best spiritual experiences of my life have been when I have surrendered fully to Jesus. At just such times, I have turned from dismal misery to indescribable joy—just as Alma did. I am learning to always recognize my dependence on the merits, mercy, and grace of Him who is mighty to save.
I recommend the Alma process to you. Even now, try calling on His power. Close your eyes and say the words, “O Jesus, thou son of God, have mercy on me.” See what happens.
Invitation: I believe that compassion may be one of the most important attributes any human can cultivate. It is the key to being like Christ and to building loving relationships. You might enjoy The Compassionate Heart: Uplifting Your Life and Relationships—available as an eBook or audio book.
The Compassionate Heart: Uplifting Your Life and Relationships – Kindle edition by Goddard, H. Wallace. Religion & Spirituality Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.: Have You Experienced the Mighty Change?Amazon.com: The Compassionate Heart: Uplifting Your Life and Relationships (Audible Audio Edition): H. Wallace Goddard, H. Wallace Goddard, JoyMap Publishing: Books: Have You Experienced the Mighty Change?Thanks to Barbara Keil for her rich addition to this article.
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